Tuesday, August 02, 2011
College Diaries: 31st August, 2011
31st August, 2011
With loads of dreams and apprehensions, I forced myself to sleep. Tomorrow was the big day. It was a day when I would finally keep one step forward to my dreams.
Really, it all seems like a dream itself. Who knew that I would listen to my heart and do something I really like. Writing is my biggest passion. No, it’s my obsession.
Well, tomorrow, I would be able to take one step ahead. Just another three years. God! I just can’t wait for my college to begin with.
But, what about my seniors? I mean, would they be nice or…. Okay… I just don’t want to go into that point. Heck! I am nervous. What if they, you know, ask me to do something I am incapable of?
Well, the only thing I am incapable of is to answer confidently. No! I have to change. I won’t be shy and an introvert ever. Not again. Wasn’t wasting my school life enough? I am going to enjoy my college. Do everything I am capable of.
I am not going to hide in my shell. No! Not at all. I mean, why should I?
I have been suffering in my school days. It sucked when I knew all those answers all along, yet couldn’t find it in me to answer. It sucked when I had to give my notes to my friends and be accused of cheating.
It sucked when I wrote those debate speeches for my friends and saw them getting certificates for it. It completely sucked when I had the capability to debate on everything, on the spot, yet I never spoke up.
In short, my entire life sucked. I have built such a shell around me that I hardly ever come out of that shell. I always keep things to myself, never talk, never argue, listen to everyone without complain, never bothered to fight back for myself.
In short, I lacked a backbone. Yeah-yeah, say what you think, but I was like that. And no, I am not like that anymore. I have to start living. Otherwise, I would suffer. Besides, college is the only way I am going to improve my skills and show it to everyone that…I am someone.
So, with loads and loads of questions, answers, puzzles, determination, nervousness and anxiety, I forced myself to sleep....waiting for yet another dream to engulf me.