Ah! The topic which I was trying to avoid came up. I don't know what to say. After seeing the world from her eyes, I just can't help but feel foolish for being upset at such a small matter. She is right; happiness comes to those who search for it even in misery.
"Sach kahein...toh aapse milne ke baad humein apni pareshaani bahut choti lag rahi hai. Aapka duniya dekhne ka nazariya hi kuch aur hai...aur agar aapne humari pareshaani ke bare mein suna, toh humein darr hai ki aap hasne lagengi. Bahut choti si baat hai."
She smiled and her eyes held a sense of assurance. Was it only me, or her eyes really spoke? But how could blind eyes say something? Isn't it abnormal?
"Hmm...agar aapko yeh lagta hai ki baat choti si hai, toh aap use khud hi hal bhi kar lenge...humein aapki kabiliyat par poora bharosa hai. Koi bhi pareshaani choti ya badi nahi hoti hai...bas...uska hal dhoondhna thoda mushkil ya thoda asaan hota hai. But then, smooth roads never make a good driver, or do they?"
She touched my heart. She had faith in me? I can't help but feel motivated by her. Why is she breaking through all the walls that I have built to protect myself? Why is she making me respect her?
"Aap ne sahi kaha...bas vishwas hi toh kho diya hai humne apne aap par. Bharosa hi toh nahi hai humare hi baba ko humpar. Humare baba ne sabhi ke saamne humhari kabiliyat par shak kiya. Unhe lagta hai ki humne jaan boojh kar itne important tender par dhyan nahi diya. Humne na chahte huye bhi unhe niraash kar diya hai."
"Aap kya keh rahe hain? Humein kuch theek se samajh nahi aa raha hai."
I took a deep breath. I saw her puzzled look and understood that I had given no links to what I was saying.
"Humara matlab hai ki...rukhiye. Hum shuru se shuru karte hain. Dekhiye...humne bachpan se lekar aajtak humare baba ke pyaar ko paane ki koshish ki hai. Humne kabhi bhi kuch bhi haasil kiya, toh baba ne humein koi shabaashi nahi di. Humare sir par apna haath tak nahi phera. Bas yahi kaha ki hum isse behtar kuch kar sakte the. Aur humne apni poori zindagi sirf wahi kiya joh unhe pasand aaye. Phir bhi who humse kabhi khush nahi ho sake. Aaj bhi unhone hamari sirf beizzati kari sabke saamne. Unhe humpar bharosa hi nahi hai. Aur ab, hum thak chuke hain unke liye jeete jeete, woh humse pyaar hi nahi karte hain. Aur, ab hum humare liye jeena chahte hain."
I realized that it was harder than what I had anticipated. All those memories were hurting me. All those times when I tried to gain my father's attention and ended up being hurt...all of them came rushing back to me.
"Aapko aisa kyun lagta hai ki who aapse pyaar nahi karte hain? Agar who aapse pyaar nahi karte, toh kabhi bhi aapko yeh nahi kehte ki aap isse acha kar sakte hain. Woh sirf aapki taareef nahi karte hain kyunki woh chahte hain ki aap usse bhi zyada tarrakki karein. Varna aap hi bataiye, agar aap par unhe bharosa hi nahi hota, toh woh aapko itna important tender dete hi kyun? Aapne unhe nirash zaroor kiya hai, par woh aapse phir bhi bahut pyaar karte hain...kyunki har ma-baap apne bachche se bahut pyaar karta hai. Bas fark yeh hai, ki koi use dikhata hai...aur koi nahi."
"Aapki pareshaani ka hal toh humne de diya. Toh phir rone se kya fayda? Aur vaise bhi, humne suna tha ki mard ko dard nai hota."
She started smiling and made me laugh. We were both laughing together, when suddenly she became serious. I wondered what made her serious. But then, she asked something that I could never have thought.
"Kya hum aapke chehre ko chu sakte hain? Aapke apne ghar lautne se pehle, kya hum apne tareeke se, yaad kar sakte hain aapke is chehre ko?"
I could mutter a single word. I was spell bound and shocked.
The atmosphere had suddenly changed. I could feel my heart beats pick up the pace, as soon as those words left my lips. Why was I feeling so much? Why had the aura suddenly different? Were my feelings changing? Was I falling for her?
To be continued...
Hey Friends...I know... That I haven't been able to update yesterday. Trust me, you can entirely blame it on light. And just because i couldn't update on time, i am giving a far bigger update than i ever gave. It's worth 2 pages. Hope you enjoy.
As you can yourself see, Arth doesn't has a big problem. You don't need to have a big problem to be worried. Sometimes, small things make us unhappy.
And her vision is something...which is mine in real life... I feel that problems can be seen in a different way too. This doesn't mean that i am never unhappy. I am a human being, and even i get upset sometimes, but i never dwell in that. I move on from the pain within a day.
Sorry for leaving it at such a point. As you can see, the atmosphere has changed...His feelings are advancing. The entire aura has changed. He has changed. But, what about her?
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