One year passed, but our friendship only and only toughened. And after that incident, I used to share everything with him. I trusted him blindly. The only thing I hate about myself is that I trust everyone very easily. I think that everyone is very nice and everything happens for our good. And I am physically very strong and composed while I am emotionally very weak! This thing hurts me.
He knew me well enough. I mean, he could hear my unspoken words, he could see me through my eyes. Yup, my eyes speak them out. My eyes are very expressive and they always say everything truthfully. I can't face a person in the eyes while telling a lie, and he knew this. Damn! He always used to bring things out of me like this only.
I remember that once I tried to lie to him and how he caught me. Actually, I and Gunjan had a fight. Of course, he knew that I won't ever start the fight. Actually, Gunjan had called me "you are stupid." and I had tears in my eyes. I wonder that why does it hurts. I mean wasn't she telling the truth? I am a stupid emotional fool and an extra sensitive person. But I knew what she was saying can't be truth ever! Never! Damn these tears! Why don't these tears ever end? Especially when he knew that I was crying.
As usual, he came and sat besides me. He knew that I love winds and hence I was sitting on the terrace in the interval. He asked me how the fight started and I told him that, "its nothing, it was my mistake all the way so let's forget it please." And he answered that, "No ways! A thing which brings tears in your eyes is not a small issue for me! I can't see you crying, and you are telling me that you are crying without any reason? It's impossible. As much as I know my Nupur, she won't cry without any reason. Infact, she loves to hide her tears and never wants to share her pain."
I was really touched by his words! I mean, it did matter to him why I cried or why I ever was upset. He was the only one who knew me in and out. And yes he did say "my Nupur" that time. But I was deaf not to hear that, or maybe I was upset. God knows why he said those things whenever I was sad. He knew that I don't notice or suspect anything whenever I am truly sad; otherwise I am a full detective brained person. I can even come to know what is going to happen next in a show, movie, story or anything.
No could actually hide anything from me. But God knows why I couldn't see through his hidden feelings that time. I couldn't see his love for me, enveloped in the name of concern. I couldn't see anything. Was I that blind that moment? I wonder how I couldn't see through his smile which only came when I was happy.
I said, "Don't you think that you know me too well?" He chuckled and he said, "Yup, I know that I know you well, but I can't help it. Your eyes speak a lot about you. And you are too innocent to even do anything wrong. You can't even hurt a little ant and you are the one who master in the art of hiding pain. Do you expect me to believe the crap you are telling me that you r crying without any reason? Do you think that I can take that?"
I blushed slightly and said, "Mayank, there is nothing like this." And as a habit, I tried to downcast my eyes which perhaps Mayank had seen. He continued, "Don't give me lame excuses. And don't even try to lie when you know that you can't lie. Tell me the reason and the entire thing without any interruptions. Now."
I knew that if he knew the real reason, then he would be hurt so I again tried lying to him. I only knew how difficult it is to lie especially when you don't lie and you are going to lie in front of a person who knows you in and out. But I had to try. I looked at the ground and said, "Nothing. I called her stupid for not giving me her copy and hence Gunjan called me that back. But you know that I am very emotional, and hence I had tears in my eyes." I finished without bothering to look in his eyes. I knew that if I looked at him, then I would lose it. And I definitely didn't want to show him how hurt I was. But I had forgotten that Mayank could actually know that there was something wrong even when I didn't showed it.
I am good at hiding my pain. But it was only Mayank who actually could know me more than anything. He was the one who was allowed to enter the shell I created around myself and was allowed to break it. He said, "You and calling anyone by names, and that too Gunjan? Impossible! Do you think that you can lie to me? Let me tell you that you r hopeless as a lier. And it is hurting me that you are trying to lie with me. You don't consider me as your friend? Isn't it? Am I not worthy of sharing your pain even now?"
Now I was hurt. I felt like killing myself to think that Mayank is hurt. I cannot even think of hurting him even in my dreams. Does he think he is not capable? It is me who is not capable. I so wanted to tell him everything but I couldn't. It was my fault that I couldn't tell him. The fact that Gunjan told me was hurting me like hell, and I obviously didn't wanted him to feel the same.
I looked at him with tears falling down. I knew that this would make him tensed and concerned, but I couldn't help it. No matter what, these stupid tears failed to hold themselves back when I was with Mayank. With him, I was true to my own self. He could read me as an open book. Had it been someone else than Mayank, I would never had been crying or even seen in such a pitiable condition. No one except Mayank had ever seen my tears in the class or in the school. I really wish I could stop him from going away from my life, but I was the one who sent him away!
Then I knew I had to do something. I told him, "Mayank, if you are my friend then you won't ask me what happened because I am not going to tell you at any cost. I do trust you and you know that you are the only one with whom I can share everything, but not this thing. And don't you try forcing me cause no matter what, I am not going to tell you. But it is possible that with more bulging, I would not talk to you." And he knew that there was something serious and he didn't try to bulge, knowing that I do what I say.
He tried to cup my face but I was too upset to even let him touch me. I shooed away his hand. He said, "Ohk Nupur, I won't ask you anything but can we again become friends?" I nodded and smiled slightly. Mayank said, "now that you are again talking to me, and also that we are friends again like earlier, can I now get my right again to wipe off the tears from your pretty face?" and I smiled and allowed him to do so.
This guy called Mayank could make me smile even when I am hurt. He is strange yet cute. And if you see him closely, you would find that he is cuter than any other boy in this world. For me, cute means terrific. And he had the ability to bring a smile on my face anytime. When I am with him, I always smile.
Kaisa woh pyaar tha jo main samajh hi nahi saki? Tere us ishq ko main mehsoos na kar saki, tere liye sab kuch hai kurbaan, yeh jaankar bhi bata na saki. Kyun tujhe mere dard se dard hota tha? Kaisa woh pyaar tha jo mere bina kahe mujhe samajh leta tha? Kaisa woh pyaar tha jo bina kuch pooche jab jaan leta tha? Kaisa woh pyaar tha jo mere aanson ko zameen par nahi girne deta tha? Aakhir kaisa woh pyaar tha? Kaisa?
We always had been the best friends forever, but what Gunjan said only made problems in our relationship. I became a little distant from him. I started ignoring him. I even started staying away from him. I became a little conscious with him. But can one stay away from Mayank? Not possible! As much as I ignored him, he started moving further. If I took a step away from him, he made sure that he takes four steps towards me. And with passing time, I gave up! I tried to forget what Gunjan said and our friendship once again became as strong as it was.
~~~~~~~~
That's all for today!
i hope this part is upto the mark!
now u can see how their relationship is like....so i would love to know if u want me to give any kind of suggestions.....
love,
Mahak
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